Five Minute Friday (FMF): Complete

Happy Friday, friends! I am so excited about today’s post because I am joining Five Minute Friday (FMF). FMF link-up, but also more of a “support system to spur you on in your writing life.” The premise is that you have 5 minutes to write on a prompt given. The purpose is to develop that creative muscle and get you writing the first thing that comes to mind to write (I always loved that part).

I have not participated in this link-up in about a year, but as you probably have noticed, there has been a change in this blog, and I am sharing more about our life in general, rather than just sharing about gardening (although I love that very much). And my faith is a big part of who I am. Ok, so here we go:

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Do you know that after I became a Christian, I lived with a huge fear? I feared that God would one day change his mind…about me. I did not open my heart to God until 2007 during a deployment in a tent in the middle of a desert that acted as our church. I think there’s a symbolism in that, but that’s for another story because it is not a simple story either. Still, I constantly felt the weight (I still do sometimes) the weight of my pre-Christian life.

I saw the scars left by my sins as reminders of “my life in sin.” But kept it all to myself. Never told anyone about my fear, for the added fear of judgement. I still remember attending a Christian women’s retreat and we had to say something based on a phrase that we picked randomly. My phrase was: Your Truth.

Before I knew it, I was blurting out to a group of strangers and friends “I’m afraid God is going to, one day, look at me and say— Angie, I changed my mind. You aren’t worth it.” and I started crying. Suddenly I was surrounded by women who comforted me as I ugly cried. They didn’t judge me. They just held me. They prayed for me. In that moment I felt loved and comforted… and it all clicked in my heart— God doesn’t change His mind like we do. All this time, the enemy was putting those feelings in my heart to weaken my closeness with God.

Those scars that I wear to remind myself of my sins, as some kind of self-punishment, now remind me of how far God has brought me from. I was a broken vessel, and God in his infinite power and mercy, put me back together. I am still chipped on the edges. Most definitely. But He, with His sacrifice in human form, made me COMPLETE in His love.